Pressure to find Traitors reaches fever pitch – but are they turning on each other?
Spoiler warning: This article reveals details from the fifth episode of The Celebrity Traitors
“We’ve utterly failed,” said David Olusoga, as the fifth episode of the Celebrity Traitors neared its end.
And he wasn’t the only celebrity who seemed mired in self doubt.
“So far, I’ve been so useless it’s breath-taking,” said Kate Garraway.
Celia Imrie admitted being “befuddled”, Sir Stephen Fry complained it’s “so dashed difficult”.
And the whole nation shouted at their screens, wondering why the celebrities are quite so rubbish at catching a traitor.
The episode started with another faithful – singer Charlotte Church – hitting the dust, as she became the Traitors’ latest victim.
Presenter Claudia Winkleman echoed all of our frustration, as she ticked off the celebs at breakfast.
“The voice of an angel and now she is among them,” Winkleman said, solemnly, about Church’s murder.
“You’ve lost seven faithfuls. Think about that while you enjoy your cheese,” she said, before storming out.
“She doesn’t like us does she,” noted comedian Lucy Beaumont.
But cracks quickly started to emerge in the treacherous trio of Traitors – Alan Carr, Jonathan Ross and Cat Burns.
Early on in the episode, Burns started turning on Ross. “This game is making me evil, but I’ve got to think for myself here,” she said to the cameras.
She also raised his name in an incredibly tense roundtable later in the show.
Imrie and Sir Stephen also shared their suspicions that Ross could be a traitor during Wednesday’s episode.
And social media certainly wants him out. “Get Jonathan Ross OUT!” wrote India Willoughby, while Freddie Fraser from this year’s civilian traitors said the same on TikTok.
But the episode ended in a dramatic tied vote at the roundtable, with two faithfuls – Scottish actor Mark Bonnar and historian David Olusoga – receiving an equal amount of votes.
That means the banishment will be left “to the hands of fate,” Winkleman said.
“Jonathan Ross could put a giant ‘It’s Me’ sticker on his head and still not get voted off,” lamented one X user.
“As Alan Carr says, the faithful have got to up the nerve at the banishment table and behave less like pussycats and more like rottweilers,” said TV reporter Siobhan Synnot.
Elsewhere, the giggling, sweating, nervously-scratching-his-head Alan Carr remains a thing of the past.
Now a cold-hearted killer, Carr seemed to take great pleasure in watching the faithfuls try and work out who had been murdered.
“To be sitting there outwitting Steven Fry, I mean, it’s like beating Albert Einstein in chess or Cluedo or something,” Carr said.
“I just started stuffing cheese in my mouth cos I can’t stop grinning. Isn’t it funny? I was so nervous when Claudia squeezed my shoulder blade, and now I just love being a traitor.”
Other talking points from Wednesday’s show include Ross’s outfits… again. And not only because he insists on walking around in sunglasses (surely this looks like a man who has something to hide?).
“Once again Jonathan Ross proves he has one of the strangest choice of clothes ever seen on Traitors,” wrote one X user.
Cat Burns – one of the younger celebs – revealing she doesn’t know who Helen Mirren is was another joyful moment. “She’s a national treasure,” her fellow players told her.
Elsewhere, Celia Imrie continues to surprise us all – as she revealed she has a crush on Ross when she voted for him.
And people on social media seemed pleasantly surprised at Mark Bonnar’s singing during the challenge.
“Mark singing from the trap is such a vibe,” wrote one X user.
“Not Mark singing Loch Lomond in the bear trap, I love it,” said entertainment reporter Jodie McCallum. “This is the Scottish representation we need.”
The Celebrity Traitors is on BBC One on Wednesdays and Thursdays at 21:00 BST and on BBC iPlayer. There will be nine episodes.
