Stars, secrets and slip-ups: Celebrity Traitors is off to a cracking start
TV shows with famous contestants usually have a loose definition of the word “celebrity”. But there are no recycled Love Islanders among the 19 big names in the first series of The Celebrity Traitors, which has got off to a cracking start.
“When they came to me and said they wanted to do a celebrity version, I said, ‘Oh I don’t think we should do that, I like just doing it non-celeb’,” said host Claudia Winkleman at the show’s launch, only half joking.
“Thankfully I have absolutely zero power, because they said, ‘Well, these are the people who have expressed interest.’ And I couldn’t believe it.”
Granted, it’s worth keeping things in perspective. It’s not Taylor Swift and Tom Cruise entering Ardross Castle in Inverness. But frankly, if Kate Garraway is on board, so are we.
The ITV daytime star was joined by Jonathan Ross, Celia Imrie, Sir Stephen Fry and other familiar names as the series got under way on Wednesday.
Here are six highlights from the opening episode.
Spoilers below
1. The celebrities want to make each other laugh
As you’d expect, the celebrities are extremely comfortable in front of the cameras, creating a fun new dynamic and giving the show a new lease of life.
Many of them already know each other and had an immediate confidence that the regular contestants don’t. All of them evidently know and love the format, and there were some genuinely funny moments as the stars tried to make each other laugh.
2. Alan Carr is extremely good value
Making the comedian a traitor was exactly the kind of brilliant casting decision we were hoping for. (“How could you not?” said Claudia.)
In the first episode, Carr was panicked, sweating and generally squirming over being a traitor. “I feel sick,” he said. “It’s the worst secret ever and it’s just burning me, I’m so nervous.”
He is a delight to watch – even just the sight of him strolling the corridors with his hood up trying to look menacing makes you laugh.
“I’ve had to have my cloak taken out because I’m so fat,” he joked in the first traitors’ meeting in the turret.
The traitors were completed by chat show host Ross and singer Cat Burns – both of whom seem to have more of the conniving mindset needed for a great traitor.
But Carr is the truly inspired choice. “My aim was to go under the radar, and I think I’ve pole-vaulted over it,” he reflected at one point. We’re in for some fantastic memes.
3. The celebrities literally dig their own graves
Instead of the traditional arrival by train, the stars were driven to a graveyard and set an opening challenge that saw them dig through soil in search of six available shields.
The lucky recipients included Ross, Garraway, rugby player Joe Marler, comedian Joe Wilkinson and singer Charlotte Church.
The sixth shield finder was actress Celia Imrie – albeit helped by Ted Lasso star Nick Mohammed.
“My aim was to try and get Celia a shield, because I love her,” he explained. But this is exactly the sort of kindness that can make people suspicious in this show, so he’d better tread carefully.
Messing with the format isn’t always a success – who can forget the disastrous “Seer” twist that ruined the climax of the last series? – but this was a terrific task, especially Carr’s disappointment that the shield he thought he’d found was actually a rock.
4. Clare Balding is a liability in missions
The contestants were challenged to pull a giant Trojan horse up a hill and through a series of gates that each required a special code, before eventually setting the horse alight.
Unfortunately, Balding locked in an incorrect combination at the first gate before the contestants had even begun tackling the puzzle, not realising you only got one chance to enter the code.
“No! I didn’t realise I locked it in, sorry!” she shouted. “I’ve made a complete mistake there.”
She explained later: “I thought, oh we can guess lots of numbers, so while they’re working that out, I’ll just stick a number in.”
“I would’ve done exactly the same,” sympathised Winkleman. “She was mortified, she really was, so I felt terrible for her.”
The mission raised a few eyebrows – some were suspicious that Church gave up her shield so willingly in exchange for Balding’s error, while swimmer Tom Daley suspected Balding might have deliberately sabotaged the task because she’s a traitor.
Luckily, the rest of the task went well, partly thanks to Mohammed, who Garraway described as a “puzzle ninja”. Ultimately the contestants completed the mission, would you believe it, with just moments to spare.
5. It’s a whole new ball game with celebrities
Some fans were nervous about the celebrity spin-off, but the bottom line is: it works.
“It’s not often in our sheltered world that we are put in a position where we have no idea how we’re going to react,” noted Sir Stephen.
“I don’t want to incriminate myself, but I’ve always wanted to murder a celebrity,” added Ross.
But in some ways, the fact that the contestants are well-known makes strategising harder.
“I was thinking about going in speaking Welsh and pretending I’ve actually been Welsh all this time. Sort of a reverse of Charlotte,” joked comedian Lucy Beaumont ahead of the series, referring to the last traitor standing in series three.
The celebrities are playing for a £100,000 prize for their chosen charity (although they also receive a separate appearance fee).
“You think you know these people,” Winkleman reflected, “and then you watch them play this game, and I was awestruck by the way they played it – with empathy, with wit and with real smarts.”
6. The cliffhanger is unbearable
Despite its extended running time, the episode ended without a murder or a banishment, leaving us with a huge number of questions.
We didn’t find out if the celebrities are any better than previous contestants at spelling each other’s names at the round table, or whether there will be another outbreak of contestants telling each other: “I’m voting for yourself.”
But we know there will be drama. “Did the roundtables get heated? Yes,” said Winkleman.
“They’re polite, but they want to catch the traitors, and the traitors want to remain undetected, and both parties are excellent at what they do.”
Sir Stephen’s total dismissal of the “gut instinct” tactic was particularly refreshing.
“The idea that you can be good at reading people is absolute nonsense, and it’s just like astrology or anything else,” he said before heading into the castle. “Woo woo. You just can’t do it.
“We can all be convinced, even though the facts tell us otherwise. These notions of ‘I just knew, it’s the way he lifted his glass, his eye doing that thing’ – all nonsense.”
As the episode drew to a close, the most pressing question was which star would be murdered by Carr in plain sight.
“I can’t believe they’ve left me to it,” he said. “I have people I want to kill, but it’s not going to be easy. What am I going to do?”
We can’t wait to find out.
The Celebrity Traitors is on BBC One and BBC iPlayer, and continues on Thursday at 21:00 BST.
